Since my last entry, things have continued down our path of my Goddess enforcing rules with various punishments. She is pretty creative with them generally, and admittedly, some are quite a bit less than others. I had my mouth washed out with soap for the first time, and it was not as bad as I thought it would be (she put soap on my toothbrush and scrubbed while quite forcefully holding my face). I am no longer allowed to swear as, this is an old and pretty bad habit, I swear at work, at home, just about everywhere and have less and less filter for when it is and is not appropriate. Corner time has been used, this one sucks… it is boring, embarrassing, and totally not hot. 10 minutes was all I got, but it seemed like an hour.
On to the bad ones… First, I got another over the knee hairbrush spanking (for not performing a homework punishment assignment on time). I am not sure why, but these are by far the worst punishments. I admit, I fantasize about this, but in reality it is really painful and somehow far more emotional than anything else. This was the second time I have been over her knee since we agreed she would be more strict and reinforce with punishments as she sees fit. She scolds a lot before and during (and if you know my wife, you know she can do this quite well), and it is a steady stream of what I assume is full force swats, hard and fast, right out of the gate, no warm up. I am allowed panties usually at first, but somehow this is worse as when they come down I completely lose it and feel like an errant child. This time I actually reached back and tried to keep them up and got a very stern rebuke for such behavior. So, here goes… I cried this time… like a little girl… I begged… I pleaded and I shed tears. I felt completely spent by the time she was done, or so I thought… I then was made to lie across the bed and got more with a rubber paddle she recently bought. This brought on outright sobs. When it was done, she did hug me and do the aftercare thing and I was genuinely remorseful as we hugged.
Next major punishment was the other end of the discipline spectrum, the spanking to tears was non-sexual in nature… this was intended to be. I was not allowed to come for a week (this was for repeatedly encouraging a sexual situation she was not interested in)… Maybe this sounds minor, but… I have a libido that is a downright nuisance at times. To make matters worse, she pretty routinely used me for her pleasure. At different times I went down on her, she used her Hitachi while my cock was in her, and my finger was used. She did stop short of fucking me in the ass, though I know it was on the menu potentially. The last two days I think I was hard more than not, and had blue balls for the first time since high school. To make matters worse, on Friday when time was up, we just did not have available time to do much… so she let me go over her knee where I had cried the week before, and hump her thighs. I came in about 15 seconds and made quite a mess, which was largely into the blanket underneath her so, not too much to clean up with my mouth. Lesson learned though.
All things said, the female led marriage thing, is working pretty well. My bottom is usually sore, and I feel like I am constantly in trouble, but we both agree my behavior is better. Arguments are rare, as I know if I got too far she will likely grab me by the hair and remind me what happens when I am not respectful. This does not mean I am passive… I am not, I still have opinions, which she respects. I still sometimes disagree with things, but I am respectful in such. Some of my bad habits like yelling and losing my temper, are becoming rarities. It seems to be working, and… at the same time, I think it encourages both of our imaginations sexually.
I have a new video I will post as soon as I can get some free time to figure out how to blur her face.
Okay so something must be wrong with me. Most people just stop talking to me. I try not to be annoying. But I'm tired of people just stop talking to me with out a reason. Is it be cause I get in alot of trouble? Is it because they can't handle how I am?
Thanks for the comments on my previous post. I don't check email or even desire to look at the internet when I am on vacation, so I apologize for the delay in replying to your comments. Figured it would be easier to do so with a new post instead of flipping several cyber-pages.
Sorry to disappoint clg0413, LisaMa, and Rebel53, but no video of me being spanked is going to be posted, lol. Not that I keep count of spankee's but I am sure over 100 women out there would love seeing that for the revenge factor if nothing else.
I did take in a military theme fetish party while in Vancouver. Forgot to get a picture of me in a quickly thrown together Russian style outfit. Reason for that was the stop at Doolin's Irish Pub beforehand. Have to say Vancouver rocks the fetish scene. Was my first event there and man, you guys can compete with any city on the fetish party tip. Anyone up there able to hook me up with a job?
To everyone else that posted it was a weekend to remember. Even if not real clear, it was memorable. Good friends, good times, even if it only involves one behind that I got to toast.
I met with my 12 year old consultant today and after some debate he has agreed to let me go home on Wednesday,however there are a number of conditions attached such as taking my medication on time,getting plenty of rest and not allowing myself to get stressed;that is easier said than done,you need to read on to find out why, but I agreed to all of his conditions,that is what he believes! I do have to attend an out patients clinic twice a week for now ,but I can live with that.There is so much I want, indeed need,to do. First up will be the mass killing of Jenny,my niece and a few other people that I cannot name so that no one will have any proof that I was "Jacqueline The Ripper". However, by and large I will make sure that I take control of my house again and sort out Jen and my niece,who is up to her old tricks again.
Last Saturday night my niece "left" the house without Jenny's permission. It was over an hour before Jenny realised that she was missing.You see my niece had tricked Jen into believing that she was obeying all of the rules that I had set down,including going to bed by nine.She had went to bed at nine every night;but this time while Jen settled back to watch TV and read,she does both at the same time,my niece seems to have put a well oiled plan into action.My house is a bit on the big side you might say and Jenny did not hear my niece sneak back downstairs and leave by the front door.It was around 10pm when Jenny decided to try and extend the Olive branch and called to my niece,inquiring did she want Pizza? Jenny,upon hearing no reply,went upstairs and knocked on my niece's door,when she got no response she went in to find the room empty. As Jenny related to me,"panic set in ",and she ran back down stairs and called one of my brothers who lives about eight miles away. As she waited for him ,Jen rang a friend in the village to see if she had seen my niece;this friend in turn rang the Mother of my niece's boyfriend and low and behold he was "missing" also.
My brother was driving into the village from the Clonakilty road when who should he see but "Juliet and her Romeo" making a run for it. He drove after them but they went into a field,so he set his dog loose,it is a Beagle,very friendly but also very excitable. The dog went after them and my brother followed.He rang Jenny who got into my "untaxed" car and headed to cut them off.From the other side of the village "Romeo's" Mum and Dad began to close the gap on those two "Star Crossed Lovers;I mean Numb Skulls". They were eventually cornered by Jenny,my car is fast and Jenny is a fast driver. By all accounts what happened next made everyone see Jenny in a new light.
Jenny caught hold my niece and shook her before dragging her into the car.The "lovers" were split up!
Once home my brother had a very stern word with my niece when all of sudden Jenny came rushing out of the kitchen with a wooden spoon.Before anyone could react,most of all my niece,Jenny had given her two or three whacks.My brother was in shock,not to mention my niece. My brother managed to calm the situation and my niece was ordered to her room,with a warning of grave consequences to come. I was told on Sunday evening and Jenny apologised to me for using the spoon. I told her that in all probablity I would have done the same,especially with the fright my niece's actions gave Jenny.So I really do need to go home and make sure nothing like this happens again.My niece and I will be having a long chat on Wednesday night.She has apologised to Jenny and me but something will have to be done.Although according to my brother my niece is doing everything that Jenny says since Saturday. I just hope that they will not come to blows, knowing my niece only too well,she is not the sort of person to be intimidated,I am afraid that she will retaliate! I have warned Jenny to watch her back until I get home. Madness,yes,but I have something planned.
I lost my Grandma this year on July 25, 2013. Right now at this very moment, I miss her more than anything. I know she is out of pain and stuffering. I wish she was her to tell me that I am not a bad person. I know I do some immature things and I need a spanking once in awhile. I miss her so much. This will be the first Thanksgiving and Christmas holiday that I will not be able to call her for a recipe. She loved me and I will always love her. She was my role modle that I will honor. This year alone I have lost 3 family member and 2 close friends to death. I know my faith will allow me to see them again in Heaven.
The topic of feminism and spanking is one very close to my heart. Raised by a single mom with a liberal bent, I've always been a feminist, but it was cemented my first day of college where I learned the whole "women have an extra rib thing" was bogus.
Still, I had this strange *fear* of men. Male authority made my knees go weak. Male teachers, professors, and bosses could all reduce me to a stuttering fool. Not that I wasn't also submissive with female authority, but the men... shudder. And no wonder, when I put myself to sleep at night (every night, from the earliest age I can remember) masturbating to the idea of being spanked by one.
In first grade the male teacher in the classroom next door told me to see him after school for yelling on the bus. I was so certain he was going to spank me. I literally made myself sick that afternoon-my tummy ached, I couldn't think--it was horrible. When I went to his classroom, pale and trembling like a leaf, he looked at me and all he said was, "Don't yell on the bus." I was ten parts relieved and maybe one tiny part disappointed there was no spanking.
Not understanding my own complexities, I very fortunately chose a husband who was all alpha but supported my liberal feminist ways. As I went after my career with all guns blazing (determined not to end up stranded the way my mom had--letting her career take a sideline to my dad's and then having to support us on a secretary's wages), my husband sent me off with a "go get 'em, Tiger."
As I made my way up the corporate ladder, I finally put it together that the masturbatory spanking fantasies occupying so much of my mind might be the reason I couldn't speak up for myself with the men. This was extremely troubling to me. I berated myself for having them. I ordered myself to turn them off. Sometimes I was able to go months or even years without allowing them into my head, but then once they popped in again, they took over. It was an addiction. An obsession.
It was not until I began writing spanking fiction that it seemed there was a useful outlet for them. With publication I came out of the closet with my amazing alpha husband and I was able to begin to start the process of detangling the social politics of feminism from the sexual.
And what do you know? The more I allowed myself to be submissive in the home, the more assertive I became out of it.
I'm still mulling over the exquisite irony that now that I'm self-actualized as a submissive, I am no longer submissive to all men-- only to the one I have chosen to submit to. I no longer perceive anyone as having "authority" over me. I don't work in the corporate grind anymore, but I know, just from feeling into the energy, that I would no longer cower from the CEO, VP or Sales Manager. I would speak my mind with confidence.
So am I still a feminist? You'd better believe it.
Do women deserve equal pay in the workplace? Equal rights, equal representation in government? In leadership? Yes, yes yes and yes. Do women deserve to be safe from sexual assault? Safe to express themselves sexually without being labeled a "slut"? (unless they like being called that). Emphatically, yes.
Do I think a woman can lead our country or a household just as well as a man? Absolutely I do. Still, I like to be spanked. I like to give my husband some authority over me. Does that mean I think a man has a God-given right to spank his wife? F*&k no. Sorry, but I can't sugar-coat that one. That's a hard line for me.
I will not criticism feminism. I am so grateful to my foremothers for their accomplishments guaranteeing me the right to vote, to own property, to not be considered property (unless I want to be because it's HAWT), to work any occupation I choose, including stay-at-home mom.
I do believe that in pushing for equal rights, it was forgotten that, in fact, women and men are different.
Women pushed hard to be more like men to succeed in the workplace and the gifts that women possess were set aside. Not to offend anyone on the spectrum of gender queer with this, because I believe we each possess a masculine and feminine side and the truly balanced people are in touch with both their yin and yang. But what I lament is that all the gifts of the yin were set aside in favor of the yang.
I believe as a feminist, I can embrace my femininity. I can revel in my intuition, my enormous capacity to love and nurture, my malleability to my environment or to my lover. I can choose to wear skirts and paint my nails. I can know without question, that my femininity is equally divine to masculinity. And that only when the two are in balance (both within ourselves and with our partners), as they are in the yin and yang symbol, are all sides actualized.
And if there is no shame in being feminine, no shame in desiring to feel submissive, desiring to be molded, governed, owned, I can offer my femininity to my lover, knowing he will hold sacred my gifts, just as I hold sacred his. Together and apart, we can both be in balance and actualized.
What do you think? Do women have an extra rib? No, just kidding. Do you honor the sacred feminine in your life? Or do you think it's subordinate to masculinity?
So its been a few days but it feels like its been weeks since I've been in the stube blog section. So much has happened. Lots of great vanilla things going on, like I'm a new aunt. :0) My new niece is absolutely fantastic.
I enjoyed the question day of the day. It was fun and I miss it. LOL, so here goes....
If you had the chance to switch roles one time...for example spankER become spankEE and vice versa would you do it?
Have a great night
My muse is in the army now, and called me to complain.
He didn't like the push ups and he didn't like the food.
But then he got a spanking and poeticized the pain.
The couplets came like Christmas Eve and lightened up his mood.
A rush of rhymes consoled him as they marched him through the rain,
Still smarting from his strapping by a sergeant he shampooed,
Who punished him severely when some soap got in his eye,
With many extra strokes for saying sergeants never cry.
November 11 is Veteran's Day in the United States. I know that there are quite a few veterans on our site. I know that we all have veterans that have had a hand in keeping us safe and protected. So I want to thank all of them and especially those who have protected me and those I care for in the U.S.