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Meggy's avatar

Views: 183 · Added: 6 days ago

As several people know, one of my well-meaning roommates accidentally broke my hairbrush. It had belonged to my great grandmother and used on my grandfather and dad respectively (my dad favored a different implement and my grandmother gave it to me when I got married - WAIT A SECOND!! I just got that! Still waters run deep, Grandma!). Joking aside, my roommate, Baz, dropped the darn thing on the floor where it split right down the middle. He was worried, although he is not a spankophile, I would turn him over my knee anyway. But, I gave him a chance to fix it. He took it to a friend who filled it with a poly-something mixture to make it useable as a hairbrush. It just isn't going to work as a spanking implement any longer.

That said, I need some recommendations of where to find a really good hairbrush. I don't want another antique - want something simple. The old one was oval, a walnut with a cherry finish, 4 inches by 2 inches head, 8 inch length.

Let the suggestions fly! I don't anticipate needing it any time soon (as my only candidate is visiting with his family at Christmas).

7 comments · Post Comment

pantyman75's avatar

Views: 190 · Added: 6 days ago

So is there something wrong with me , i'm not sure i wish i had a better way of connecting with people on here and talking you would think being a 36 year old spanking virgin with a perverted mind would help but guess not , i also like to type alot and i know most people wont read this [color=red]So so stupid i forgot to add a title when i first posted this need a boost in something or self confidence

9 comments · Post Comment

123missy's avatar

Views: 101 · Added: 7 days ago

I slipped them on, almost wishing I was still fully exposed, because this, was honestly worse, and got back down."How is that sir???""Bahahahaha really embarrassing for her I am sure, but A-ok by our rules lol, Thanks ma'am!""Sure thing"After kneeling there for awhile I felt my ear being pulled."Come on Missy, we are gonna go apologize to that life guard. Say you're sorry!"Here I am, being paraded around in little girl panties, and now I have to say I am sorry like a 4 year old!"I am sorry for splashing you" I said in a defeated voice. "Ah, it is ok! ... ... ... Are those little Belle Panties from Sleeping Beauty???" He replied"Actually it is Beauty and the Beast, but yes" I replied "Aren't you a little old for those lol" He said"She will always be wearing them if I have anything to do with!!!" Said my mom. SPANK (a cheap shot spank by her!) "Now lets go.""Bahaha Bye-bye Princess" He said.fmlHUMPH

ps I can show the panties hmu
and if you like these stories check out my ebook:)

https://sellfy.com/p/rVY2/

3 comments · Post Comment

japan64's avatar

Views: 188 · Added: 7 days ago

We’ve all heard of Santa’s list,
And we know he checks it twice;
But the good girls don’t know what they’ve missed
When the bad girls pay the price.

Good girls always get their wish
When they sit on Santa’s lap,
But they never hear his cane go “swish”
Or feel old Santa’s strap.

Good girls are demure and sweet;
Their gifts await beneath the tree,
But they never feel the rising heat
Across the jolly old man’s knee.

Good girls are so pure and chaste;
They always say please and thank you,
But bad girls have their sins erased
When Santa says, “Come here—I’ll spank you.”

Bad girls do such naughty deeds,
Sometimes they’re full of guile,
But Santa knows just where it leads
When he sees a bad girl smile.

Santa loves the naughty girls—
Yes, they are his favorite kind,
And though he likes all kinds of girls,
The bad ones linger on his mind.

So remember Santa has a list,
And you know he checks it twice.
Just think of all the fun you’ll miss
If you’re just a little bit too nice.

18 comments · Post Comment

clg0413's avatar

Views: 279 · Added: 7 days ago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LVffa5UDSQ

www.sakura-joker.diviantart.com

Santa baby, please put me over your knee for me
To get a good girl spanking, Santa baby,
So hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa baby, a 8 inch hairbrush too, light blue;
I'll wait up for you, dear; Santa baby,
So hurry down the chimney tonight.

Think of all the fun I've missed;
Think of all the spankings—and I must insist;
Next year I could be just as good... if you add to my Christmas bliss.

www.pinupart.org

Santa baby, I want a swat and really that's not a lot;
Been an angel all year; Santa baby,
So hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa honey, one little thing I really need...
The switch... from a birch tree, sweetie, Santa baby,
So hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa cutie, and fill my stocking with a brat loop and strap;
Mark me with your brand, Santa cutie,
And hurry down the chimney tonight.

www.girlmerry.com

Come and trim my Christmas tree with some toys bought at CANE-IAC;
I really do believe in you;
Let's see if you believe in me...

Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing... A crop...
I want you to be my top; Santa baby,
So hurry down the chimney tonight

Hurry down the chimney tonight
Hurry, tonight! And tomorrow night, and the next night and the next…

I’ll understand if you can’t make it Christmas Eve, but Christmas morning, you’re mine.

Original Words by Songwriters
J. JAVITS, P. SPRINGER, T. SPRINGER

22 comments · Post Comment

Fitch's avatar

Views: 212 · Added: 7 days ago

Another rum and eggnog and Saint Nick and I were plastered.
And soon my ass was redder than his suit, the jolly bastard!

10 comments · Post Comment

spankingeddie's avatar

Views: 98 · Added: 7 days ago

When I was younger, I was often asked to feed and walk the neighbors' dog when they went away. I always agreed, but not because I loved dogs.

The real reason that I agreed to feed the dog was that they had a daughter who was a few years older than me and when I went to feed the dog I would spy in her room and look in her underwear drawer.

I always secretly hoped that she would catch me in the act and spank me as punishment. Alas, no such luck.

0 comments · Post Comment

revmother1's avatar

Views: 90 · Added: 7 days ago

Yesterday morning I awoke at my usual 5:30 am.Even though I am off work for the xmas period,I still get up and prepare breakfast for Jenny and my niece.Yesterday was my niece's last day at University until after xmas. As usual it was near impossible to wake Jenny.I went down stairs and began preparing breakfast.My niece joined me and we sat and had breakfast together;there was still no sign of Jenny.I went back upstairs and into our bedroom.Jen was sprawled across the bed in a deep sleep. I called her again,no response. I decided it was time for some drastic action,I shook her.She began to wake,and in an instant jumped out of bed shouting abuse.It was my fault,I completely forgot that she was off work yesterday.I was left with the dilemma of how my niece was going to get to the city. Jen and I went downstairs;Jen was still going to drive my niece to the city,but my niece knew Jen was off work,NEGLECTING TO TELL ME.My niece had arranged to take the bus with her boyfriend. When my niece left the house,Jen and I went back to bed.It has to be one of the best feelings,getting out of bed and realising that you don't have anything to do but to return to bed.We snuggled up and slept until 10am.

In the afternoon we took Jenny's car and went to the next town over to visit an elderly friend. We stayed awhile and on our way back Jen decided to take a little short cut,so that we could get home a little early and play around before my niece came home. As we went around a corner we got stuck behind a tractor pulling a large trailer full of cabbages. It was not safe to overtake,we just resigned ourselves to getting home late. More vehicles began to join us,and soon there was a bit of a tail back. The tractor driver must have noticed this and began to speed up.As the tractor negtiated another corner,Jen and I watched in horror as the trailer began to wobble from side to side violently.Then all of a sudden it rained cabbages.I really thought the trailer would jack knife but thankfully it didn't,it righted itself again,but the road was full of cabbages. A few cabbages bounced along the road striking Jen's car.She slammed on the brakes,so did the car behind us as cabbages bounced off Jenny's car and hit the car behind. Jen jumped from her car shouting,"Fucking Moron!" The tractor stopped and a young lad alighted,laughing.I think it was a nervous laugh. Jenny began to tell him off while I began to claim salvage rights to the cabbages. Jenny told me that this only applies at sea. Everyone was out of their cars.Some were picking up cabbages,the young lad didn't seem to mind,turns out they were not his,but belonged to his Dad,who arrived on the scene after about fifteen minutes along with a local Garda,some rat actually rang the Garda!.Jenny discovered a small dent on her car,but it is barely niticeable. The scene was cleared after awhile and traffic began to move.Once we reached home I very wisely waited for Jenny to go into the house before I unloaded six cabbages,in fairly good condition,from the boot of the car. I did slip the young lad five euros behind Jenny's back,she hates cabbage.

Anyway we will be having Bacon and cabbage on Sunday,Jenny will just have the bacon,but she does have apple sauce with vegetables,weird girl!LOL!. Have a great weekend my friends and watch out for flying cabbages and other vegetables,it is the silly season after all.

1 comments · Post Comment

jmb2012's avatar

Views: 97 · Added: 7 days ago

Everybody this is a link to an online petition asking UK Prime minster to remove new regulations, under UK law if get more then 100,000 people to sign then it has to be debated in parliament

https://www.change.org/p/david-cameron-mp-remove-regulations-for-video-on-demand-pornography-amsr-2014

1 comments · Post Comment

Lefty79's avatar

Views: 92 · Added: 8 days ago

In the spirit of the holidays N.W. Discipline has reduced the prices on all of our videos at SpankingLibrary.com through Christmas Day! Videos start as low as $2.99 and the max price on any of our videos is $4.99 until the end of the sale! This is a great time to come and see the full length versions of all the videos in our library at a great savings!
Come check it out!
http://www.spankinglibrary.com/store.php?id=223

copy and paste above link into your address bar!

0 comments · Post Comment

pantyman75's avatar

Views: 99 · Added: 8 days ago

I'm craving to be take by a lady and be spanked over her knee and have her discover my panty fetish and punish me for it and force me to go into a store and buy panties and explain to the sales lady who the panties are for and then she spanks me in the car and forces me to wear a buttplug on the way home

1 comments · Post Comment

diezelthadon's avatar

Views: 296 · Added: 9 days ago

Good evening fellow spankos. Much love to those of you that return it. This blog is not for you. This blog is for a certain ignorant older female that seems determined to continue to act as if she is a teenager. Upon my arrival on ST, I was fresh out of a long term relationship with someone. We had been together for 6 years and I was very close to her family including her 7 year old twins. After we broke up we continued to live together in the house we had a lease on. During this time I became more active on ST and was getting to know a few new people. I even exchanged emails and texts with a few. One of which in retrospect was more interested than I was aware. As such after a few conversations she informed me that my email linked to my facebook page. I advised her that I was a Data systems and Networking major and that I was aware of this. She enjoyed looking through my pictures and I thought that was the end of it. Unfortunately it was not. She proceeded to email me a few days later informing me that I wasn't as smart as I thought I was and that I was a liar. When I inquired wtf she was talking about, she proceeded to tell me about how my ex had pictures of us together and about pictures I had taken with her kids. Now one thing about me, I tend not to take well to ignorant people attacking me about things they have no idea about. Had she bothered to ask instead of attack she could have easily found out what others on ST already knew. And that shoulda been the end of it. I thought it was until I posted that last blog. Suddenly out of the blue she's back. Talking the same idiotic bunch of bullshit and trying to insinuate negatively against my character. When I emailed her directly and asked her sarcastically if she was passive aggressive much, she replied with the same line of ignorant ravings she had each previous time. Point is this. Belligerent accusing opinions do not a liar make me. Facts. I AM single. As all my social media shows. I am not responsible for what an ex has on her page. We are still friends. I love her kids to death and still talk to them. That being said I am, and have been SINGLE. And if me or my life bothers you so much, why don't you remove yourself from it for good? Leave me alone. There's a big difference in bratting and just simply being childish and ignorant.

16 comments · Post Comment

jmacjluv's avatar

Views: 242 · Added: 9 days ago

So obviously there are millions of videos punishment or otherwise where people are very soundly and thoroughly spanked without anything being pulled down or taken off and certainly not on the bare. So maybe on the bare is a matter of preference verses a priority. Speak your thoughts

11 comments · Post Comment

jmacjluv's avatar

Views: 93 · Added: 9 days ago

So obviously there are millions of videos punishment or otherwise where people are very soundly and thoroughly spanked without anything being pulled down or taken off and certainly not on the bare. So maybe on the bare is a matter of preference verses a priority. Speak your thoughts

0 comments · Post Comment

dd4life10's avatar

Views: 136 · Added: 9 days ago

This is just my take on this wide ranging subject.

To feel safe.....safe in the hands of the one, they chose to give their gift of submission.To feel that they can trust their Dominant, to have enough trust in them, to the point they feel safe.And even after they give their submission, to always be reminded that they are in safe hands.If they don't receive this, they will close within themselves, and the protective walls will go up.

Excepted for who they are.....to be acknowledged as a real person, and not just a play thing or piece of meat.To know they are seen as, not just as a submissive, but also as a valuable friend and companion.

Exactly what is expected.....to know the rules they should follow, and for the dominant, to understand the submissive's limits.

Consistency.....to know the dominant will be consistent, and not change the rules every five minutes.Also for the dominant, to be consistent when caring for and looking after the submissive.Not to make the submissive feel, that they are a part-time fixture, to be used when its convenient.

Push their limits.....to be encouraged to push their limits, so they can continue to grow, otherwise they will become restless within the limits they started with.

To learn.....the dominant is the leader/teacher, they need to challenge the submissive, so that they can grow and learn as they do.

Need goals.....the submissive needs to have goals, the dominant needs to explain these goals.Offer support and guidance on achieving them, to offer a purpose, otherwise the submissive becomes lost and without direction.

To be corrected.....well duh, but seriously when mistakes are made, correction is needed.Without that things will go down the tubes, and bad habits become even worse.And fail to keep the submissive focused, and on the right and proper track.

To look up to their dominant.....the dominant is a role model, if the dominant fails to live up to a standard, the submissive will follow them down that road.

Approval and reassurance.....a submissive is constantly seeking this, to be shown that good or bad, they belong to the dominant.

To express themselves....to be able to express their feelings and opinions, without fear, and know they will be taken seriously.

Forgiveness.....the greatest pain for a submissive, is to fail or displease a dominant.Once amends have been made, they need forgiveness, so they can get past their own guilt.

To feel important.....that they are just as important as the dominant, that they play an equally important role, in the dominant/submissive relationship.

Praise.....when they have done well, they need and deserve praise, otherwise they will give up the fight to please and obey their dominant.

To share.....to feel they can share themselves, and open their hearts and souls to their dominant.Trust enough to share their feelings, fears, failures, insecurities, struggles of any sort.

To feel needed and wanted.....to feel needed, wanted, cared for, loved, protected, respected.To receive back the same effort and dedication, that they offer and give the dominant.To feel they are worth the effort, to not be made to feel neglected, or taken for granted.Because if that were to happen, the dominant would surely, lose the respect of the submissive, and lose the gift of submission, that the submissive has entrusted to them.

A long list I know, but if anyone has more to add, please do.

Thank you for reading,
dd

6 comments · Post Comment

spankalanoften's avatar

Views: 87 · Added: 9 days ago

My dad's friend was officer reese and he bought me home one time when I was 16 cause I had been in a car with a boy who had pot in the car. The thing that was bad for me was Dad had told to say Away from this boy (His name was chuck Dwayer) anyway....my buddy ken and I were walking to the movie and along came chuck to give us ride...I knew my dad said I couldn't be around him but I mean he was driving us to movie that was it! Well on the way check was speeding and we got pulled over. Lucky for us Officer Reese knew us and chuck made it clear he had picked up us and had nothing to do with the pot. Off course when I got driven home Officer Reese was eager to report to dad what had happened...I knew I hear and I did "WHAT DID I TELL YOU ALAN JOSEPH"??? GULP and with the police officer standing there my dad said "get to my office I am going to paddle your fanny good Mister, your lucky your not sitting in jail" I blushed 1,0000 shades of red and Officer reese patted my back and said GOOD LUCK ALAN...GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

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spankingeddie's avatar

Views: 113 · Added: 9 days ago

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xvoyyf_french-teen-spanked-in-vintage-flick_redband

I found this video online from a French film. The actress has one of the most beautiful bottoms that I've ever seen spanked. A must watch.

3 comments · Post Comment

sophiahyland's avatar

Views: 113 · Added: 9 days ago

I got an early Christmas present yesterday, a flogger that looked like the perfect size and build. He said the handle looks like anal beads, and it does, but it also fit his his hand perfectly. It has a couple dozen strips of leather about a quarter inch wide, equally thick, and about eight inches long. Each strip has a smooth top side and rough underneath. I hoped it would be a perfect feel. I love, love, love, love, love leather implements, but we broke our last crop due to so much use and he still feels a little awkward using a belt on me. I love belts, and he wants to please me, but it’s not as much fun for him as using his hand. I love his hand, too, but crave the sting of leather.
We got to play with it last night as soon as he got home from work!!! He'd barely gotten changed out of his work clothes before he picked it up and told me to turn around. He started over the yoga pants I had on, but I wanted to feel it across my bare skin, so I slid them down, grinning at him over my shoulder and he kept going. I really like the feel of it. Very intense sting the moment it connects, but it also fades just as quickly. He tried flicking it a few different ways, and sometimes got a good thud out of it, too, and asked me to tell him what I liked best.
Unfortunately, we didn't play for too long because he was hungry for dinner. After dinner, though, the meatloaf sandwich he’d been craving all day leftover from the previous night’s meal, he went out for a cigarette and came back in with a grin on his face.
He said, "That was...tasty," searching for the right word, with a wistful look on his face. The meatloaf was good, but I thought his expression was overly happy for just remembering food.
I asked, "Your sandwich?" and he replied, "No, our new toy," and he moved his arm through the air like he was swinging the flogger again.
I said, "I could go get it and we could play some more," and of course, he immediately responded, "Go get it!"
I came back downstairs with it in hand and he was sitting cross-legged on the couch with the ottoman in front of him. I went to him and handed him the flogger. He took it with one hand and put the other hand to the waistband of my yoga pants and this time he pulled them down. I was so glad he wanted to start with me bare this time.
I laid down on the ottoman, with my bottom on the very edge in front of him, my legs straight behind me and my forearms on the floor. My back was arched in this position, bent a little at the waist, so my bottom was a nicely rounded target. Standing had been okay, but I really wanted to feel that sucker!
He had fun swinging it across me every which way, covering my entire ass with stinging blows. Some were light and some were deeper, thud-y ones as he got a feel for the implement. Just as before, the sensation would be very intense as soon as the flogger made contact but was gone just as quickly. This made for a lovely chorus of yips and yelps from me, which was part of the delight for both of us, but I do like a spanking to build in intensity, want to feel more sting land before the previous sting has faded away.
When he said, “Okay, you’re done,” I was slightly disappointed. It had felt great, made me squirm and holler a little, but it wasn’t the burn and fire that his hand would’ve left in the same length of time. And when I pulled my pants up and sat on the couch, there was hardly any painful-reminder-sensation in sitting.
So I set it on the floor beside the couch and we watched a little tv for maybe 15 minutes. I scooted down a little, pulled a blanket over me, and got comfortable.
He said, “You still feeling that?”
“No, the sting didn’t last very long,” I pouted.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” he said chuckling.

“It is! You know me, I’m twisted. It felt great, but I want it to burn for a long time after. I want it to be hard to sit.”

He laughed a warm, booming laugh and replied, “Where’d you put it?”
“Over here, next to the couch.”

“Give it here, I want to play some more.”
“This time I want you to lay here.” He motioned along his outstretched legs, so I stretched out next to him, with my head, chest, and stomach on the ottoman by his feet. I bent my knees and scooted them into the back of the couch next to his hips with my shins up along the back cushion. He put his arm along the back of couch, his elbow and forearm between my feet, so he could get a full swing. The couch is the middle of the room so he had nothing behind him to worry about so he could swing it all the way back and down.
Because of the way I was laying, He would often bring the flogger across a cheek from top to bottom, so that the top of my buttock took the brunt of the impact. The top half of my cheeks are a lot more sensitive. I can take a lot more on the lower half, but the higher something lands the more it stings, a higher, hotter sting. He knows this, too, and will sometimes apologize for one that lands high or do it on purpose and delight in my reaction.
This was one of the latter times and he was enjoying my reactions. He swung it many different ways, again though, covering every bit of skin he could.
By this third session of play, the sting was building as I’d longed for. My skin started getting that delicious raw feeling, so that each new lash was more intense and lasted longer.
He said he was concerned that it still wasn’t heavy enough for me, since he knows I like very hard swats from his hand. He said he wanted to make sure to stimulate my nerves so the pleasure would travel, and he emphasized his point with a hard slap from his hand.
I said, “You can mix those in as often as you want, but the lighter sting is definitely stimulating, too.”
He continued with the flogger, throwing in a hard slap every now and then, but even the flogger had me gasping and howling. He continued until I was red and sore all over. When I sat after that, I felt it burn and pinch and tingle for an hour and a half! It was exactly as I’d hoped for, and I think we finally found an implement he has as much fun playing with as I have receiving. It’s going to be a great Christmas! And I hope everyone has as much fun this holiday season as I had last night :)

2 comments · Post Comment

spang's avatar

Views: 142 · Added: 10 days ago

http://spankingtube.com.ar/videos/

is this totally different site apart here?

2 comments · Post Comment

Leigh7707's avatar

Views: 121 · Added: 10 days ago

It has always been there, living inside me...this tendency toward feeding guilt. I'm not sure why, really. Maybe it's just who I am and how I'm wired. Maybe it’s my innate tendency to analyze things, to separate them into their individual strands and twist myself up in their examination. Maybe it's to do with the stars...ever the Virgo perfectionist, being too hard on myself. Either way, it is a beast, this guilt. Sure, it starts out small, mere trinkets of thoughts scattered here and there about my soul. But soon enough, these thoughts take root, and begin to thrive in the fertile soil of deeper self-doubt. Its roots begin to thicken, and deepen, sliding through my gut sharp tendrils that slice and wind about my insides. Like stubborn thistle in a summer garden, it seeks to take me over. The beast is always hungry, and it feeds on me. It greedily consumes anything in me that resembles hope or light, and sneers at me as it licks the last of my will from its lips. This sense of being stripped of anything that could be called beauty or grace and having the flavor sucked from my bones, breeds self-hatred. Contempt deeper than anyone could see. When the beast is in a feeding frenzy, my spirit goes limp...and my only focus is avoiding my reflection, for I can't bear looking into my own eyes. No amount of good done during these times can pierce through the dense shadow that guilt casts over me.

For nearly as long as I can remember, I've been looking for something. A way to break free, perhaps. A way to escape the torment. A way to make the beast sleep long enough that I might lay my own head down. But, unrefined and lacking direction (as I always had, by the way) my ways were, admittedly, not always the best. I started small...with tiny gestures of self-loathing...burying myself under my own constant relentless criticism. But I was a quick-study in the finer arts of self-punishment, and advanced quickly. Before long I was on an out-of-control spiral of self-injury and self-sabotage, the specifics of which need not be hashed out here.

Also for as long as I can remember, I've been drawn to accountability. Not drawn in the simplest of terms, but rather, felt a need for it that ached, and pestered the back of my mind. I dreamed of what I lacked. Someone who would not only discourage self-injurious behavior, but would flat out not allow it. A confidante who I could count on to be kind and understanding, yet unwaveringly firm. Someone who would do whatever was necessary to save me from myself. And this...this is where you found me. Stuck in a world of mirrors, with my trembling hands pressed firmly over my eyes. Hungry for direction and boundaries to keep me safe. Paralyzed by fear and inconsistency, and chained to a beast of my own making.

The earliest words we shared were formal and polite...the way they often are when strangers meet. But soon it became clear to me that we were not strangers. Yes, we had never met...but there was a familiarity there, whose only explanation involves exploring the dynamics of a universe who determines two paths will cross, and keeps spinning things in different directions until the inevitable takes place. Yes, I think it would be safe to say I was at home with you from the start.

Over the following days and weeks, time unraveled before us...it became our friend. Days slipped into nights and crept back into early mornings as the stories of our respective lives were etched into one another. No detail was too minor, no memory insignificant. I began to learn things about myself...the first of which was that I was hungry, and had been for a very long time. I was hungry to talk and have my thoughts not fall on deaf ears, but to have them absorbed and understood. You were patient, and put effort into knowing me. You challenged me, and would not accept the surface trappings I afforded the rest of the world...so I dug a little deeper.

Timidly, within the safety of what I'd found with you, I began to bare a soul that had been suffering under the weight of hurt and neglect...so, it wasn't long before the beast named guilt raised its hungry head in your presence. What happened then was unexpected and life changing. There was a wall...an abrupt declaration that guilt was counterproductive and self-defeating and would not be tolerated. To make the point clear, to provide the atonement I desperately needed, and to back the beast down, I would for the first time learn a "lesson" from you. I was placed over your knee, my bottom was bared, and I was soundly punished for my part in a situation that had been slowly sucking the life from me for the better part of a decade. Following my punishment I found the other half of what I had been missing...tenderness. Arms that held me unselfishly, and the understanding and assurance that I had been made accountable, and that it was now my duty to forgive myself. For those in the world who do not believe in miracles, I wish I could invite them to the days that followed that first spanking. Like the flipping of a switch, I had changed. For the first time in years the beast was sleeping...and something new breathed within me. Hope for a better way to deal with things.

Since my first spanking, I'm sorry to say, I have found myself in the position of requiring punishment on several occasions. On my knees before you, knowing what was to come. I hear your voice, the tone so much sharper than normal saying how deeply disappointed you are in my actions. Those words, that tone, it breaks me. Hurts me. But it breaks me in a way I need to be broken. I need to feel your displeasure with my behavior match my own. It echoes what I know to be the truth, that what I've done is unacceptable and things must change. Then, as you deliver what is needed, and fire erupts on my backside…the world becomes still. Nothing moves or blurs, and I'm able to see things clearly. I'm able to find a path through my obstacles and rest in the knowledge of a course of direction. Then guilt, seeing there is nothing there to feed on goes and lies back down. At the departure of my enemy I am able to feel fully safe, and give myself over in devoted submission to you, the one who tamed the beast.

This is a journey still in its infancy in many ways, but already I've learned so much. I’ve learned that I am strong and capable. That my thoughts matter and are valid and of value to others. I’ve learned that with a little direction, care, nurturing, and yes, discipline...I become softer and more honest with myself and approach the world more gently. I’ve learned to appreciate other people’s needs, even if they differ from my own. After having spent so much time hating myself, I've learned, I was a creature made for love, devotion, and yes...submission. Made to thrive, and be vibrant and playful as a daisy dancing and bowing under the force of the breeze. I've begun to appreciate myself again. I can look into my eyes and, as if for the first time, see creativity and light.

One might ask if I’ve found freedom...and I would say it’s more than that. How do you explain the ability to walk and your feet not touch the ground, to fly but never take to the air? To say the word freedom just isn't enough…because freedom means nothing if you've never been shackled. So I don't say I'm free. I say I'm wild and raw, boiled down to my essence and moving as a force like the wind. Unbound. Undefined. I'm unchained.

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